COUTTS

Coutts is supposedly a restaurant, but it's more like a museum where the food stays trapped in history. The only thing that seems to be thriving is the grime of the past. You might find a few royal artifacts, but don't expect your 'private banker' Monty Mead to give you any interest on your funds. Just look at the one-star reviews and you’ll see customers baffled by the lack of service that could rival a sloth on a caffeine crash. Come for the history, stay for the horror stories.

The staff must think they’re running a museum exhibit on incompetence. With complaints ranging from food missing in action to service that feels like a bad sitcom, it's clear that they’re more interested in their artifacts than their customers. So, if you’re looking for a place to reminisce about the good old days of banking, this could be your stop. Just don’t expect to leave with any cash or satisfaction.