Food hygiene meets Google reviews. Find your unicorn.
🏠 6 Wood Street, Middleton, M24 5TF
Tier Achieved:
The ultimate Russian roulette. Culinary daredevils only.
The Devil's feeding trough. Food so good people risk it all. The kitchen is a horror show but the reviews are immaculate. Strongest stomachs only. You've been warned.
Simons Cafe is like that friend who wears a dodgy outfit but has a heart of gold. With a hygiene score that’s alarming (1/5), you’d think twice before taking a bite, but the reviews sing praises about the food like they’re trying to convince you it’s all worth it. Salt & pepper wings and Singapore noodles seem to have a cult following, but let’s not ignore the fact that you might need a tetanus shot after dining here.
It’s family-run, and the friendly vibe can almost distract you from the fact that you’re eating in a place where cleanliness seems optional. If you’re feeling brave and a bit adventurous, go for it. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you when you’re on a wild ride to the loo later. 🤢
"Love this place, family run and such a friendly atmosphere."
"Fresh, non greasy food absolutely delicious!"
"Lovely friendly staff who are really good with my little girl!"
Simons Cafe, Middleton — Food Hygiene Rating: 1/5
🗓️ Last inspected: 26 August 2025