ON THE HOOF BISTRO

🏠 Ground Floor Unit, 23 Sydenham Road, London, SE26 5EX

☕ Coffee Shop

Tier Achieved:

💀 DOUBLE SLAP 💀

Bad AND dirty. Worse than a meal deal.

Like being slapped twice. The food's crap and you'll probably get the 💩s anyway. Just... don't.

🧼 Food Hygiene Rating 2/5 FSA Certified

⭐ Google Rating 3.8 12 reviews

🕐 Hours not available

📍 DIRECTIONS

💀 Double Slap

On the Hoof Bistro is a double slap in Lewisham. With a food hygiene rating of 2/5 and 3.8★ on Google (12 reviews), this coffee shop lands in our "Double Slap" tier — bad and dirty. worse than a meal deal.

Full review coming soon — we're gathering more intel on this one.

✨ FEATURES ✨

🍽️ Dine-in

🔬 FSA BREAKDOWN 🔬

🧼 Hygienic Food Handling GOOD

🏗️ Cleanliness & Facilities NEEDS IMPROVEMENT

📋 Management & Safety GOOD

On the Hoof Bistro, London — Food Hygiene Rating: 2/5

🗓️ Last inspected: 10 June 2025

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