GOLDEN HOUSE

Golden House is the kind of place that feels like it could be your go-to for a comforting Chinese meal, but then sometimes it feels like you're eating at your weird uncle's house. You know the one – where the menu is a gamble and the food is a mixed bag. The salt and pepper squid appetiser is a highlight, but then you get the duck with plum sauce that tastes more like a pineapple horror show. Staff like Ollie are friendly enough, but the service can feel as chaotic as a family gathering.

With a solid 5 for hygiene, it’s cleaner than your average takeaway and certainly more reliable than some of your mates' cooking. Still, it’s hard to shake off the feeling that if you catch it on a bad night, you might wish you’d just ordered from the local greasy spoon instead. If you’re in the area, it might be worth a shot, but maybe keep your expectations in check.